Fight the Good Fight
Part I: The Enemy Within
By Todd Uebele
"Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience." -- 1 Timothy 1:18-19a
"12Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you 14to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ" -- 1 Timothy 6:12-14
As Christians, we are heavily involved in the "mother of all battles." We are caught in the fight of the ages and called to fight for the Truth. This fight, this battle, is being fought on many different fronts. We fight an enemy that seeks to destroy us, we fight the world who rejects us, we fight each other over trivial matters, and finally, we fight ourselves. Each of us is involved in the battle in one or all of these aspects. Each of us needs to fight the good fight.
The Bible not only tells us to "fight the good fight of faith," it also gives us a good outline of how to do just that. In what will be a three part series, I would like to take a close look at each of the fronts we fight on, look at the Biblical strategy for each fight, and show you the hope of victory we have in Jesus Christ! In this first part, we examine "the enemy within." The enemy within ourselves, our own flesh.
Why Do I DO that?
We all do it. You know you shouldn't. You should just walk away, but it is so enticing. It's wrong, yet appealing. Walk away. Don't do it. Too late, you did it. We all do things we should not do, and there are times where we do not do the things we should do. It is a constant struggle, but we are not alone in that struggle. Paul, God's emissary to the gentiles, struggled with that very thing:
18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. -- Romans 7:18-20
I understand exactly what Paul is saying, "for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." This newsletter is the perfect example. I have been struggling for weeks to "do what is good." I know what it is God wants me to do, and I know what it is He wants me to write, but I have been unable to carry it out. It has been a struggle.
A big part of that, I think, is what He has wanted me to write about. Another part is, to put it plainly, I did other things instead. Neither reasons are good ones, but still, even though I had the desire to serve God in this small capacity, I didn't. My flesh, or in this case, my pride got in the way. See there is another half to what Paul said, and that part applies to me, as well.
Not only did Paul not do what was good, he did do what was bad, even though he knew it was wrong and he didn't want to, his flesh did. Thus Paul did the bad that he did not want to do. It this very thing I have been avoiding the past two weeks. There is a period of my life I am not all that proud of, and that just happens to be the period that God wanted me to talk about in this issue. Hence, it sitting on my computer untouched for weeks.
See, while I was in college, I did the evil I did not want to do. I did it so much, as a matter of fact, that eventually I wanted to do, and did, over and over and over. It started really simple, something one could say is not even a sin, but man did it spiral! Let me start from the beginning.
Most who know me, know I was blessed to grow up in a strong Christian family. My upbringing was solid, and I came to Christ at a very young age. In college, I really came into my own, spiritually. That is what makes what I am about to share so hard. Where I went to school, part of our studies took place out at sea, onboard merchant ships. We would sail for six months at a time, and do this twice, to bring the practical side of the theory we did in school.
During my second time out, I was very nervous. I knew the temptation that was out there, and I knew how weak I was. I decided not to even have so much as a sip of alcohol, and that should keep me clean the whole time. Well, that lasted for about a month. I can tell you exactly how everything started, too.
I was on a coastal run, with a buddy of mine. The ship went from New York City, to San Juan, to Jacksonville, FL, to San Juan, and back to New York City. We were in port quite a bit, every two to three days, and in Puerto Rice every week. During one of these visits to Puerto Rico, my friend and I decided to take a tour of the Bacardi Rum factory. The tour, for its part, was actually pretty interesting, with a lot of history. At the end of the tour (and what my friend was waiting for), we all got free samples of fresh rum. After a little prodding from my friend, I decided on the Reserve rum with some coke.
It was just one drink, but that one drink started a slide. Now, I have never been a fan of the "slippery slope," even during my stint as a Baptist. However, in this case there was a definite slope, and it was slippery. Not only that, I fell all the way to the bottom.
After that day, I realized I had really been worried for nothing. One drink wasn't going to hurt. I figured I could go out and as long as I only had one drink I would be fine. Well, during one of these outings, I realized I was just fine after two drinks. That became my standard. Two drinks. I could have two drinks and be just fine, no problem.
After that became a habit, I stopped keeping track. I figured when I got a buzz it was time to stop. I figured I knew what I was doing. After all, I was 20 years old. I wasn't a teenager anymore, and I knew how the world worked. Well, that two drink standard became three. That, in turn, became four. Pretty soon I was frequenting bars and drinking frequently. However it did not stop there. Once I had the drinking thing down, we started visiting...well...certain types of bars. We started visiting certain types of clubs. And this became frequent, as well.
The kicker is, the whole time I was sliding, I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, and I knew I should not be doing it. But I did anyway. I basically left Jesus to satisfy my flesh. The ship would pull into port, and I would tell Jesus, "Jesus, I am going to go have fun, and I know you won't approve, so you can't come." You. Can't. Come. Jesus wasn't invited because he would not have approved.
Like Paul, I had done evil that I didn't want to do, at least at first. Eventually, I got in so deep, that I did want to do it. I was wretched. I was lost. I did many things and went to many places that I should not have. However, there was still hope. While I turned my back on Jesus, He never turned His back on me. Nor will He:
Even when we are faithless, Jesus Christ is faithful. God never gave up on me, not once. He waited for me, and after about five months on "the slope," I came to my senses. Much like the prodigal son came to his senses and returned, so I came to my senses. Unlike the prodigal son, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but, still, like him, I did come to my senses.
At least, I partially came to my senses. See unlike the prodigal son, I knew that God would forgive me. Even though I knew through every step that what I was doing was wrong, I knew that He would forgive me...and that killed me. I could not do it. I could not bring myself to ask for forgiveness. I just couldn't do it. I knew that if I brought myself before Him and asked, He would forgive me, but I didn't want it. I did not want His forgiveness. After all I did, and knowing it was wrong, I just couldn't ask Him. I felt like I did not even deserve to get on my knees before my Savior, let alone ask Him to forgive me for doing what I knew was wrong!
Then one day, God struck me. I can almost swear that he physically smacked me upside the head and said, "What are you THINKing???" I was lying on my bed in my stateroom, still onboard the ship, and I had read a page from an "Our Daily Bread" devotional. I do not remember the devotional, or the Scripture passage, but I do remember the thought came into my head that perhaps I should ask God to forgive me.
Like every other time that thought came into my head, I shrugged it aside. I couldn't do that. How could I? I in no way deserved, to even go crawling to God on my belly! That's when God smacked me. I promise you He was sitting right there and just smacked me upside the head. He told me flat out, "No, you don't deserve it. You don't deserve my forgiveness and you don't deserve to come before me. Nope, not at all."
Then, He immediately followed that up with, "That's why I sent my son to die for you." I was speechless. I felt like I had been struck physically. The truth of the situation had really caught me off guard. I didn't deserve to go before God. Not one bit, but I could! Because of what Jesus did, I could go before God!!! It seems so simple now, but at the time, it was such a revelation! I immediately went before God and poured my heart out. I confessed every drink, every visit and every single thing I had done over the previous five months. Then, for the first time in five months, I felt free. Thanks to Jesus, and thanks to what Jesus did, for the first time in five months, I was free.
I fought my flesh and lost. That is, I fought on my own, and I lost. Today, I still fight against my flesh. Every single day, I fight. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. However, as the days go by, I find myself winning more and more of the bigger battles. Not on my own. Not in the least bit. I tried that once and that is why I lost. When we try to fight the enemy within, we cannot do it on our own. It was only when I turned to Jesus Christ, did I overcome my flesh. It was by His power and His grace that I am here today able to share with you what I did.
Our flesh is probably the toughest enemy we face. Every single one of us fights daily. Sometimes we win; sometimes we lose. Of all the battles a Christian will fight, the flesh is probably the most difficult. However, nothing is too difficult for Jesus. Jesus Christ can not only help you fight the enemy within, He can help you over come it. Each of us has moments when we do not do the good that we desire, and when we do the evil we do not want to do. If you submit yourself to Jesus, and turn the situation over to Him, you can not only echo Paul in your lamenting, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:24) You can echo him in his celebrating, "Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:25)
